just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
