i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
