I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sorry about my life...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
