Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
