I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
