remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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