At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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