I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
