Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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