let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
3 2 1 whiskey
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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