found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
