made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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