Got a toothbrush?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
