i barfeds in our rink
The best revenge is premature balding
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
