we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
