ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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