Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
