I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
