i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
