ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
