are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
