He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
