Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
