I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
