his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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