How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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