This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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