I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i think i just lost a toe
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
