I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
