What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
