I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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