hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
