Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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