Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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