I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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