He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
