C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
