dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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