Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
