If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
