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About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
