Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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