i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
