A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am puke
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
