Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
