Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
