I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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