Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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