Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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