I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
